This Year in Search Engine Terms

It's so amusing to check and see what search engine terms are used by people that find their way to my site, whether the online shop or the blog. Some are a little creepy, I noticed a large amount of the females I've worked with has all been searched for - chances are it's just a similar name, but when "charlottetown" or "pei" are added to it, it's a safe bet who they're looking for. So beware ladies, because as if you didn't already know, there are some creepy folks out there on the internet looking for you. They may not all be creepy, but you really don't want to take that sort of chance.

So, some of the terms, we'll start with the top 10:

1 - how to make a fake axe (and actually dozens of variations on this)

2 - severed finger (a few variations, "how to make" "thumb" or "toe" even)

3 - zombie photoshoot ( a couple variations on this)

4 - fox Henderson (makes sense)

5 - bimbo zombie killers 2 (also the first one and others with minor variations)

6 - demon ears (makes sense - a lot of other variations, even just "ear prosthetics" in general)

7 - demon horns (quite a few variations, type and size of horns)

8 - bimbo zombie killers (the 2nd most popular variation)

9 - monkey rodeo project (makes sense)

10 - vampire nose (and a few variations as well)

These all seem pretty reasonable. A lot of movie title searches, mostly my own movies. A lot of various types of prosthetics - demon, monkey, vampire, goblins, etc. All very reasonable and understandable, yet there's a few that just seem a little off. Some I get why someone might search for them, and why they'd land on a site of mine and some are just fucking weird. Here's some of the odder ones:

fake ad for hatchets - why a "fake ad" for hatchets? Real ads aren't good enough?

hookers casting - I guess someone needs some hookers in their movie and doesn't feel up to asking random women they know?

silicone male ass - I have no idea what the hell is this all about, nor do I want to.

demon wife  - Maybe something to do with a movie, or just curious what the benefits might be?

latex hooker - Are they looking for a hooker made of latex or one that specifically wears latex?

who the actor for thork - besides the poor grammar here, I've no idea what this is about. I used the term and it just came up with "Thor" stuff.

troll feet -  I was right in assuming at least one other person out there would be interested in Troll Feet. I'll be putting them online for sale this year. I hope he comes back.

most powerful hallucinogen - ???

zombie hookers demon pei - Just looking for all the best stuff at once I guess.

horned girls - Makes sense, but something tells me it was a spelling error.

auricular prosthesis product catalog - I think I might've either brightened or ruined some poor fellow's day who was actually needing something important.

zombie killers online monkey -Either there's something else out there this fucked up sounding, or someone who's only heard partial words of things I've done, and was just hedging their bet and trying them all.

really odd family pics - I like this one.

shoot boxing online shop - I don't get this at all.

casting fake guy - At first all I could think was, "So casting a real guy isn't good enough?" But then I guess it's something looking to make a fake body? I don't know otherwise, maybe looking to cast a shitty actor?

movies with x ratings - Hell yeah! I ruined some horny bastards day I hope.

the caller malcolm mcdowell ending explanation - This might seem utterly random, but I did mention this movie once and if someone seriously wanted an explanation for the ending, they really didn't get the movie. I highly recommend it for it's total lack of logic in the end.

bert palmerro prosthetics - This just seems funny, I guess somehow someone saw this video and didn't realize it was connected to an online shop. Nice to know they liked the piece enough, never got an order for it though. Asshole.

a movie called zumbie bimbos - Makes sense they found my stuff, but did they really believe there was a movie was called "Zumbie Bimbos"???

vampire photoshoot lighting - Because vampires are SO hard to light with all that pale skin...???

pretty male fingers - Uh...yeah.

fox henderson hookers - I think my favourite one this year.

el. rodeo. de. gregorrio. Chabes - Sure. I don't think they were actually searching for "Gregorio Chavez", but it's pretty odd there's even the term "rodeo" in there. I did a search and nothing immediately popped out that would explain it.

awesome paint job go kart - How the hell did this term land someone on something I did?

ass silicone mold - Again with the silicone asses. What the hell people? The worse part is, this chap wanted a mold - for what? To make an unlimited supply of silicone asses?

fast food character giving the finger - I don't really get it. Did someone want to see this that badly?

ear suck - This actually creeps me out as much as the silicone asses people.

And now for the most elaborate and yet still random seeming search term of all:

big screen-tula's father used one particular cleaning solution for everything as a cure all, even soaking his elbow - I searched it and nothing immediately came up, why am I not surprised. And relieved. 

So there you go. Some of the more entertaining search terms/phrases of this year. I am surprised at the sheer number of people wanting fake faxes and severed fingers/thumbs.toes there are out there. Next year can only get weirder once I start introducing some new items to the shop.

Holy crap...

Just realized it's been nearly 2 months since I've gone near this, guess I might as well start again. Now...where to start?

Trade Show. I'm doing a trade show in April, hopefully if I can afford the trip to Hamilton, Ont. The show itself isn't very expensive at all, it's getting there that'll be a bugger. In the meantime I'm hoping to crank out a whole pile of new products before then. Some new random foam props, resin one, demon things in jars, weapons, new prosthetics, masks and maybe other stuff. I've been so lazy in developing new products, I'm kind of using the trade show as a deadline to get this all done.

Photo shoots. I got an extension to the "Demons" project, now titled "The Secret Lives of Demons", so I will be attempting about 20 photo shoots between now and mid-March. Might be doable, don't know yet. After that I will be moving on to Volume 2 of the project and stepping up the makeup a bit - that's the plan at least.

2013 Demon Pinup Calendar. It's a while off, but it's something else in the works. Planning on doing a calendar filled with old classic pinup style looking pictures, but with demons - of course that probably goes without saying.

DVDs. Hoping to actually start selling them on the website soon.

T-shirts. Soon might be a possibility.

Bimbo Zombie Killers! the Web Series. Still haven't had time to have a meeting to create the overall plot, even though it's roughed out. A couple months behind schedule, but that's nothing new. Should still happen this year.

Year of the Dead. A new project I start this past week. It'll be a sort of supernatural detective story about detectives on the trailer of a slightly mental necromancer using the souls of the undead to appease an ancient evil Demon God in order to become one himself. Don't think it'll be a feature, but you never know at this point, just working out some background details on the characters at this point.

That's more or less it I think. I've had some recent production problems with the business and I'm taking some steps to slightly simplify things and make that run more smoothly. A pile of new pieces should be going online soon as well.

That's it for now I think.