I did one of these halfway through the year this time around and it doesn't feel like it was 6 months ago, but here we are at another year end and it's time to round up the thinks that freaks out there search for that land them on my blog.
Top Ten Search Engine Terms.
1. severed finger (along with a dozen or more variations)
2. s (I’m not really sure about this one)
3. fake axe (several variations on this as well)
4. fox henderson (seems logical)
5. monkey prosthetics (which is kind of funny since
I would never make such a thing, but both words are relevant)
6. julie laforest (congratulation Julie, you are
obviously the target of many a creepy internet stalkers)
7. vampire nose (nothing special there)
8. zombie photo shoot (seems reasonable)
9. monkey rodeo project (a name which hopefully no
longer exists to cause confusion)
10.zombie prosthetic (perfectly reasonable as well)
So, those all seem like pretty straightforward search terms
that would land someone on this blog. Now for the weird ones. A lot were misspelled
or seemed to have odd grammar and whatnot, so what you’re seeing is how I
actually saw them in the list.
retro bimbo – I get where this one would lead someone to me
and I sort of get what they might be looking for, but it does seem a little bit
of an odd phrase.
richard allen poppe – just by placing this here I will incur
more hits. He’s the fellow who I had long ago purchased some Lovecraft inspired
props from. While I had two more or less decent transactions with him, a lot of
people seem to really rag on him on having ripped them off. I can’t say I’m
surprised since it did take the better part of a year to get three book props
out of him after repeated excuses – maybe they were legit, I don’t know. It’s
too bad whatever the reason he’s vanished from the net, he made good stuff
cool forehead prosthetics – ah, that explains why I’m not
selling enough, I label mine as “lame forehead prosthetics”. Really, this is kind of stupid
severed finger props – I can only assume the word “props”
was added because they were seeing way too many real severed finger
real bone hammer - ? I actually had to look this one up
myself to see if it was a real thing or someone out there was just a little
creepy. It is a real thing, but also a video game thing
hookers for sale – as opposed to just for rent. I guess
someone was hoping to find a Pimp “going out of business” sale
cad finger – I’m guessing a 3D thing or the finger of a
roguish fellow
prostetic good - Because for a minute – not sure if there’s
more to this or this wasn’t intended to be a search. Also, you spelled
prosthetic wrong
things that are 10lbs – sure, why the hell not
troll foot – makes me thing I really need to remake my baby
trolls feet for resale.
demons with horns face – nice grammar
male finger – uh, okay
pictures of severed fingers – Okay, there were definitely
looking for real ones and that’s kinda messed up
brittleness object – the hell?
sweet hell – ah yes, sweet, sweet hell. ?
monkey head for sale – someone was watching Indiana Jones
and the Temple of Doom again, weren’t they?
5 piece ear spike project – that seems very specific and
I’ve no idea what it is
horrible monster images – hey, I resent that, I make nice
monster images, they’re not horrible. Can't tell if they were looking for images of horrible monsters or shitty images of monsters.
real severed silicone finger props –someone is very confused
here, I only sell fake props – they don’t actually exist, if you want real
props, go somewhere else. ?
how to make a troll in clay – I appreciate the fact people
might be looking for “how to”s online, but do they really thing they’d find
something this specific? I mean would they have accepted it if it was just a
goblin made of clay?
thumbor – I got nothing
well done prosthetic horns – again, mine are all labeled as
shitty and will most likely cause gingivitis. I really need to label my stuff
better
a severed finger painting – amidst the literally dozens of
variations on severed digits, this one actually seems original for a change.
They don’t want to see a real or prop severed finger, and not a picture – but a
painting of one. Very nice choice. I believe it was Monet who went through a severed finger period.
finger monkey for sale – really? I don’t want to know
hooker hell – I can only assume it would be filled with
either gay men or men with only 2 cents in their pockets
men eater monkey movie – this is just an example of random
words or bad grammar
double malefinger – I don’t know about this one and I don’t
think I want to
best werewolf prosthetic – again, I knew I should’ve went
with this instead of “worst werewolf prosthetic”
male to female silicone – this just creeps me out for some
reason
It’s a gortch” - Nope, no idea either
hooker man – that just sounds funny. Man-whore is the
preferred nomenclature however
movies about hookers – yup, plenty of classy stuff came out
of this search to be sure
foamy axe – it probably won’t work well
Why do I have demon ears – I think I posted this one before,
it’s awesome.
witch doctor monkeys – hell yeah, that sounds awesome.
brilliant uzukler - ?
As usual, nearly every female I’ve worked with was searched
for at least once and sometimes with “PEI” or “Charlottetown” following it – so
yeah, some of you have stalkers perhaps. Or you’re searching for yourselves.
Severed fingers and fake axes had, I’d say, a couple dozen
variations each. It’s pretty impressive actually.
As well, several variations of prosthetics, types of
prosthetics – ears, horns, noses and whatnot. They all seem pretty reasonable.
Overall it wasn’t too disturbing a year at least.
Showing posts with label hookers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hookers. Show all posts
Monday, December 31, 2012
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Props, lots and lots of props.
I've been making movies now for over 14 years. And today as I was working on some props for a shoot tomorrow, on the Bimbo Zombie Killers! web series (was making a impromptu MacGyvered bow and arrows), I started thinking about just how many props I've made over the years.
I've made some weird ones, like a plywood board with severed penises nailed to it (Man-Eating Hookers from Hell), some huge ones that took up a large portion of my living room, specifically a cockpit for a one man anime looking jet (The Supposed Prophets) to simple stuff like a gateway key to Hell (The Conspirators).
I wished I thought to catalog all these things. I supposed I could just go back and capture stills from the movies, but it's not the same.
I've even had some costumes made, although not by me, a cloak for the Grim Reaper (The Last Days of Death), 5 identical dresses for a demon band (Bert Palmerro's Addicted to Love) and even some Viking and Barbarian garb (The Secret Lives of Demons). I myself made 4 demon suits of leather armor and various bits for 4 Lord of the Rings looking fellows (Malice).
I have probably most of my props, going all the way back to the Happy Fun Beer from Supposed Prophets, I wouldn't drink it, it's a little cloudy looking these days. I'm kind of curious just how many I've made in the last 14+ years, so I went to my film resume (as pretentious as that sounds) and went all the way back to the beginning.
My first completed movie (and hopefully lost to time),Grey, I made a few things, but I can only really remember this weird, bulbous device with an indent of a hand in it. Part of that stuck around all the way to shooting Cronus.
The Last Days of Death I don't think I made anything, I think even the cloak was from Grey. Aside from a noose and a letter of dismal from the DOD, I don't recall making anything.
Getting Dead, I don't think I made anything for that, aside from maybe a few weird little alien props - I don't really remember though. I think I took some parts from an old video camera that looked odd out of context, but I didn't really make anything that I recall.
The Conspirators I made "The Gateway Key", a black obelisk that would supposedly unlock the gates of hell.
Grim...Nope, don't recall much about that movie, other some it made no sense and I did make some fake blood for it.
The Supposed Prophets I think was my first prop fest of a movie. The whole cockpit was bizarre. We made a plywood shell, all constructed and housed in my living room at the time. We got a funky looking car set and scavenged parts from several different electronic devices. Made some guns. I know there was other stuff, but nothing's coming to me at the moment - aside from the Happy Fun Beer. There was a lot of digital stuff in that movie, so I could be confusing it with that.
Bad Karma was an attempt at one day filmmaking with my brand new GL1. No real props made, but I did make fake spit that got drooled on Greg Webster.
The next few, I won't bother mentioning because they were very simple "quirky" little movies. I bought, but didn't make stuff for Sinister Consequences. And then moved into some animated movies and more simple stuff. They That Did Dream has some weird little rocks that looked like large Skittles.
For The Scourge, a movie that worked so much better on paper, I made a whole leatherbound journal with Kim Bradford and a 4 or 5 foot seal painted with runes. I think it's finally long gone since I've moved.
I guess really until Malice I didn't make that much stuff now that I look back on it. Most was purchased Even with Malice I remember buying a shitload of stuff and probably only made a handful of things. I had a book stand made, a plant hanger reworked to stand alone on its own. The Voodoo Spirit Bombs were the first real prop I made from nothing I think on that movie, mostly it was a lot of makeup and props bought online. And a lot of weapons. There was a funky little Hellboy inspired talisman I made with a fingerbone inside - which I've since redesigned and now can mass produce.
There were some odd little background trinkets and stuff. The "prophecy" scroll which I still have framed and I was quite proud of. And still am, it looks awesome. A huge warhammer and lots of costumes for a flashback scene as well.
Demon Rum saw the creation of the Demon Rum bottle, which I still plan on recreating for mass production some day. I've the plans worked out, just need to put it all into effect.
For Cronus I did a lot. I would have to say that I did a lot. I reused the Gateway Key, but the entire office was almost a prop. The most detailed were the framed pictures you never really got to see that had Cronus photoshopped into real images of celebrities and prominent figures of the 1930s and 40s.
For Bimbo Zombie Killers! I made my first fake weapon, a foam axe. That was pretty cool. I had David Bennett make some authentic ceramic moonshine jugs, which I then moulded and produced almost a dozen duplicates.
The Invasion of the Horrible Alien Brain Monsters from outer Space in 3D, I created a lot. From the alien masks, to a lot of the funky gadgets Dr. Hammer used. That was kind of cool. I even created a little cheap-assed looking UFO and model of Earth.
Grayson and Gortch I made a few things. This was pretty makeup heavy as well. I made some severed Trolls feet, several of them still linger about in various place of the house. The Tibetan Fire Starter, used by Grayson. Some fake demon drug paraphernalia and some weird demonic CSI device.
Home Sweet Hell was meant to be assembled from stuff I already had, so there was really nothing new created there.
Man-Eating Hookers from Hell...yeah. This was weird. There weren't so many props as various makeups and stuff. Aside from the severed penises the best thing was the Fangina. I think I still have one copy, but I've since given the original away.
Bimbo Zombie Killers 2! Undead by Dawn, I made a pretty awesome (also goofy) severed arm stump. Reconditioned the backpack from The Alien Brain Monsters and parts of the cockpit from Supposed Prophets into a moonshine cannon. And some pretty nifty foam hammer heads - the handles were real wood, so they were only so stunt worthy.
Finally with Bimbo Zombie Killers! Undead in the Water, I've got a lot of stuff on the go, from prop zombie frogs, to the aforementioned bow and arrow. I'm doing a fake arm this week and eventually a fake severed hand. And a lot more I don't want to mention because it'll ruin some of the surprise.
I'm sure there's been way more, but I've also collected about three times as much stuff as I've made, and still have most of it all packed safely away. Might never use it, but it's cool it's there should I need some background stuff.
I've made some weird ones, like a plywood board with severed penises nailed to it (Man-Eating Hookers from Hell), some huge ones that took up a large portion of my living room, specifically a cockpit for a one man anime looking jet (The Supposed Prophets) to simple stuff like a gateway key to Hell (The Conspirators).
I wished I thought to catalog all these things. I supposed I could just go back and capture stills from the movies, but it's not the same.
I've even had some costumes made, although not by me, a cloak for the Grim Reaper (The Last Days of Death), 5 identical dresses for a demon band (Bert Palmerro's Addicted to Love) and even some Viking and Barbarian garb (The Secret Lives of Demons). I myself made 4 demon suits of leather armor and various bits for 4 Lord of the Rings looking fellows (Malice).
I have probably most of my props, going all the way back to the Happy Fun Beer from Supposed Prophets, I wouldn't drink it, it's a little cloudy looking these days. I'm kind of curious just how many I've made in the last 14+ years, so I went to my film resume (as pretentious as that sounds) and went all the way back to the beginning.
My first completed movie (and hopefully lost to time),Grey, I made a few things, but I can only really remember this weird, bulbous device with an indent of a hand in it. Part of that stuck around all the way to shooting Cronus.
The Last Days of Death I don't think I made anything, I think even the cloak was from Grey. Aside from a noose and a letter of dismal from the DOD, I don't recall making anything.
Getting Dead, I don't think I made anything for that, aside from maybe a few weird little alien props - I don't really remember though. I think I took some parts from an old video camera that looked odd out of context, but I didn't really make anything that I recall.
The Conspirators I made "The Gateway Key", a black obelisk that would supposedly unlock the gates of hell.
Grim...Nope, don't recall much about that movie, other some it made no sense and I did make some fake blood for it.
The Supposed Prophets I think was my first prop fest of a movie. The whole cockpit was bizarre. We made a plywood shell, all constructed and housed in my living room at the time. We got a funky looking car set and scavenged parts from several different electronic devices. Made some guns. I know there was other stuff, but nothing's coming to me at the moment - aside from the Happy Fun Beer. There was a lot of digital stuff in that movie, so I could be confusing it with that.
Bad Karma was an attempt at one day filmmaking with my brand new GL1. No real props made, but I did make fake spit that got drooled on Greg Webster.
The next few, I won't bother mentioning because they were very simple "quirky" little movies. I bought, but didn't make stuff for Sinister Consequences. And then moved into some animated movies and more simple stuff. They That Did Dream has some weird little rocks that looked like large Skittles.
For The Scourge, a movie that worked so much better on paper, I made a whole leatherbound journal with Kim Bradford and a 4 or 5 foot seal painted with runes. I think it's finally long gone since I've moved.
I guess really until Malice I didn't make that much stuff now that I look back on it. Most was purchased Even with Malice I remember buying a shitload of stuff and probably only made a handful of things. I had a book stand made, a plant hanger reworked to stand alone on its own. The Voodoo Spirit Bombs were the first real prop I made from nothing I think on that movie, mostly it was a lot of makeup and props bought online. And a lot of weapons. There was a funky little Hellboy inspired talisman I made with a fingerbone inside - which I've since redesigned and now can mass produce.
There were some odd little background trinkets and stuff. The "prophecy" scroll which I still have framed and I was quite proud of. And still am, it looks awesome. A huge warhammer and lots of costumes for a flashback scene as well.
Demon Rum saw the creation of the Demon Rum bottle, which I still plan on recreating for mass production some day. I've the plans worked out, just need to put it all into effect.
For Cronus I did a lot. I would have to say that I did a lot. I reused the Gateway Key, but the entire office was almost a prop. The most detailed were the framed pictures you never really got to see that had Cronus photoshopped into real images of celebrities and prominent figures of the 1930s and 40s.
For Bimbo Zombie Killers! I made my first fake weapon, a foam axe. That was pretty cool. I had David Bennett make some authentic ceramic moonshine jugs, which I then moulded and produced almost a dozen duplicates.
Grayson and Gortch I made a few things. This was pretty makeup heavy as well. I made some severed Trolls feet, several of them still linger about in various place of the house. The Tibetan Fire Starter, used by Grayson. Some fake demon drug paraphernalia and some weird demonic CSI device.
Home Sweet Hell was meant to be assembled from stuff I already had, so there was really nothing new created there.
Man-Eating Hookers from Hell...yeah. This was weird. There weren't so many props as various makeups and stuff. Aside from the severed penises the best thing was the Fangina. I think I still have one copy, but I've since given the original away.
Bimbo Zombie Killers 2! Undead by Dawn, I made a pretty awesome (also goofy) severed arm stump. Reconditioned the backpack from The Alien Brain Monsters and parts of the cockpit from Supposed Prophets into a moonshine cannon. And some pretty nifty foam hammer heads - the handles were real wood, so they were only so stunt worthy.
Finally with Bimbo Zombie Killers! Undead in the Water, I've got a lot of stuff on the go, from prop zombie frogs, to the aforementioned bow and arrow. I'm doing a fake arm this week and eventually a fake severed hand. And a lot more I don't want to mention because it'll ruin some of the surprise.
I'm sure there's been way more, but I've also collected about three times as much stuff as I've made, and still have most of it all packed safely away. Might never use it, but it's cool it's there should I need some background stuff.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Home Sweet Hell DVDs!
I've been in a slump as far as being self motivated lately, ever since Halloween actually (which was exhaustively busy for 2 months straight), but this last week has been incredibly productive.
I finally got the Home Sweet Hell DVDs all done, there's not much to them, just the episodes and some pictures. I wanted to do outtakes, but as I noticed finishing up the BZK2! DVDs, there weren't any. The folks I work with have gotten really used to the way I work and are very well prepared - so they deserve a huge thanks from me.
These are up for sale too, but since the audio isn't awesome, I'm reducing the price a bit to $8 on these - any more and it's just not worth selling them really.
Otherwise, I've got a small pile of new prosthetics done and a few more on the way. I've got a few new photo shoots lined up and got some work done on a few other projects I have going on. So far so good, I'm hoping the trend keeps up.
Up next are the Man-Eating Hookers from Hell DVDs.
I finally got the Home Sweet Hell DVDs all done, there's not much to them, just the episodes and some pictures. I wanted to do outtakes, but as I noticed finishing up the BZK2! DVDs, there weren't any. The folks I work with have gotten really used to the way I work and are very well prepared - so they deserve a huge thanks from me.
Otherwise, I've got a small pile of new prosthetics done and a few more on the way. I've got a few new photo shoots lined up and got some work done on a few other projects I have going on. So far so good, I'm hoping the trend keeps up.
Up next are the Man-Eating Hookers from Hell DVDs.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
This Year in Search Engine Terms
It's so amusing to check and see what search engine terms are used by people that find their way to my site, whether the online shop or the blog. Some are a little creepy, I noticed a large amount of the females I've worked with has all been searched for - chances are it's just a similar name, but when "charlottetown" or "pei" are added to it, it's a safe bet who they're looking for. So beware ladies, because as if you didn't already know, there are some creepy folks out there on the internet looking for you. They may not all be creepy, but you really don't want to take that sort of chance.
So, some of the terms, we'll start with the top 10:
So, some of the terms, we'll start with the top 10:
1 - how to make a fake axe (and actually dozens of variations on this)
2 - severed finger (a few variations, "how to make" "thumb" or "toe" even)
3 - zombie photoshoot ( a couple variations on this)
4 - fox Henderson (makes sense)
5 - bimbo zombie killers 2 (also the first one and others with minor variations)
6 - demon ears (makes sense - a lot of other variations, even just "ear prosthetics" in general)
7 - demon horns (quite a few variations, type and size of horns)
8 - bimbo zombie killers (the 2nd most popular variation)
9 - monkey rodeo project (makes sense)
10 - vampire nose (and a few variations as well)
These all seem pretty reasonable. A lot of movie title searches, mostly my own movies. A lot of various types of prosthetics - demon, monkey, vampire, goblins, etc. All very reasonable and understandable, yet there's a few that just seem a little off. Some I get why someone might search for them, and why they'd land on a site of mine and some are just fucking weird. Here's some of the odder ones:
fake ad for hatchets - why a "fake ad" for hatchets? Real ads aren't good enough?
hookers casting - I guess someone needs some hookers in their movie and doesn't feel up to asking random women they know?
silicone male ass - I have no idea what the hell is this all about, nor do I want to.
demon wife - Maybe something to do with a movie, or just curious what the benefits might be?
latex hooker - Are they looking for a hooker made of latex or one that specifically wears latex?
who the actor for thork - besides the poor grammar here, I've no idea what this is about. I used the term and it just came up with "Thor" stuff.
troll feet - I was right in assuming at least one other person out there would be interested in Troll Feet. I'll be putting them online for sale this year. I hope he comes back.
most powerful hallucinogen - ???
zombie hookers demon pei - Just looking for all the best stuff at once I guess.
horned girls - Makes sense, but something tells me it was a spelling error.
auricular prosthesis product catalog - I think I might've either brightened or ruined some poor fellow's day who was actually needing something important.
zombie killers online monkey -Either there's something else out there this fucked up sounding, or someone who's only heard partial words of things I've done, and was just hedging their bet and trying them all.
really odd family pics - I like this one.
shoot boxing online shop - I don't get this at all.
casting fake guy - At first all I could think was, "So casting a real guy isn't good enough?" But then I guess it's something looking to make a fake body? I don't know otherwise, maybe looking to cast a shitty actor?
movies with x ratings - Hell yeah! I ruined some horny bastards day I hope.
the caller malcolm mcdowell ending explanation - This might seem utterly random, but I did mention this movie once and if someone seriously wanted an explanation for the ending, they really didn't get the movie. I highly recommend it for it's total lack of logic in the end.
bert palmerro prosthetics - This just seems funny, I guess somehow someone saw this video and didn't realize it was connected to an online shop. Nice to know they liked the piece enough, never got an order for it though. Asshole.
a movie called zumbie bimbos - Makes sense they found my stuff, but did they really believe there was a movie was called "Zumbie Bimbos"???
vampire photoshoot lighting - Because vampires are SO hard to light with all that pale skin...???
pretty male fingers - Uh...yeah.
fox henderson hookers - I think my favourite one this year.
el. rodeo. de. gregorrio. Chabes - Sure. I don't think they were actually searching for "Gregorio Chavez", but it's pretty odd there's even the term "rodeo" in there. I did a search and nothing immediately popped out that would explain it.
awesome paint job go kart - How the hell did this term land someone on something I did?
ass silicone mold - Again with the silicone asses. What the hell people? The worse part is, this chap wanted a mold - for what? To make an unlimited supply of silicone asses?
fast food character giving the finger - I don't really get it. Did someone want to see this that badly?
ear suck - This actually creeps me out as much as the silicone asses people.
And now for the most elaborate and yet still random seeming search term of all:
big
screen-tula's father used one particular cleaning solution for everything as a
cure all, even soaking his elbow - I searched it and nothing immediately came up, why am I not surprised. And relieved.
So there you go. Some of the more entertaining search terms/phrases of this year. I am surprised at the sheer number of people wanting fake faxes and severed fingers/thumbs.toes there are out there. Next year can only get weirder once I start introducing some new items to the shop.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Man-Eating Hooker Masks up for sale.
I'm putting these bad girls online for sale today. Starting manufacturing them this afternoon. They're made of a durable latex, typical of most Halloween type masks, rather flexible as well - although not as much as foam latex. It comes already painted up as you see it here with resin spikes and teeth.
Can be made blank with spikes and teeth not attached if desired, just let me know. The spikes and teeth are easily adhered to the mask with crazy glue, that should keep them on permanently. They come with an elastic strap sewn in to slip them on and off. To sort of blend them in, just some black makeup around your eyes and mouth should do it.
They sell for $26, so iffen you feel the need to devour men's souls, or anyone's really, you might want to snag one of these. Allow for about 3-4 days for manufacturing, these things require time to look this nasty.
If and when we get to do a full feature of "Man-Eating Hooker from Hell" the Demon Hookers most likely won't look like this, this was a simple, cheap design for the trailer only. Should we raise the money, they will look way more hideous and demonic, so these masks are only going to be seen in the fake trailer for now.
Can be made blank with spikes and teeth not attached if desired, just let me know. The spikes and teeth are easily adhered to the mask with crazy glue, that should keep them on permanently. They come with an elastic strap sewn in to slip them on and off. To sort of blend them in, just some black makeup around your eyes and mouth should do it.
They sell for $26, so iffen you feel the need to devour men's souls, or anyone's really, you might want to snag one of these. Allow for about 3-4 days for manufacturing, these things require time to look this nasty.
"Man-Eating Hookers from Hell" trailer is finally online.
After all this waiting, it's finally online! The only place the trailer is viewable is on the actual site:
http://www.themonkeyrodeo.com/MEHFH
I've also started up an Online Funding Campaign to turn this crap into a feature. The campaign will run for the next year, or until we reach our goal. Although in order for us to reach that goal, this site needs to get out there as much as possible - so feel free to repost the link EVERYWHERE!
I will be making another version of the video to upload to other sites, including the URL to this site to hopefully draw in more traffic. $10,000 is a pretty reasonable amount, I can do A LOT with $10,000 - it's pretty easy when you come from the Roger Corman mentality of film making.
So enjoy the trailer, it's probably not safe for work, depending where you work.
http://www.themonkeyrodeo.com/MEHFH
I've also started up an Online Funding Campaign to turn this crap into a feature. The campaign will run for the next year, or until we reach our goal. Although in order for us to reach that goal, this site needs to get out there as much as possible - so feel free to repost the link EVERYWHERE!
I will be making another version of the video to upload to other sites, including the URL to this site to hopefully draw in more traffic. $10,000 is a pretty reasonable amount, I can do A LOT with $10,000 - it's pretty easy when you come from the Roger Corman mentality of film making.
So enjoy the trailer, it's probably not safe for work, depending where you work.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)