Wednesday, December 28, 2011

This Year in Search Engine Terms

It's so amusing to check and see what search engine terms are used by people that find their way to my site, whether the online shop or the blog. Some are a little creepy, I noticed a large amount of the females I've worked with has all been searched for - chances are it's just a similar name, but when "charlottetown" or "pei" are added to it, it's a safe bet who they're looking for. So beware ladies, because as if you didn't already know, there are some creepy folks out there on the internet looking for you. They may not all be creepy, but you really don't want to take that sort of chance.

So, some of the terms, we'll start with the top 10:

1 - how to make a fake axe (and actually dozens of variations on this)
2 - severed finger (a few variations, "how to make" "thumb" or "toe" even)
3 - zombie photoshoot ( a couple variations on this)
4 - fox Henderson (makes sense)
5 - bimbo zombie killers 2 (also the first one and others with minor variations)
6 - demon ears (makes sense - a lot of other variations, even just "ear prosthetics" in general)
7 - demon horns (quite a few variations, type and size of horns)
8 - bimbo zombie killers (the 2nd most popular variation)
9 - monkey rodeo project (makes sense)
10 - vampire nose (and a few variations as well)

These all seem pretty reasonable. A lot of movie title searches, mostly my own movies. A lot of various types of prosthetics - demon, monkey, vampire, goblins, etc. All very reasonable and understandable, yet there's a few that just seem a little off. Some I get why someone might search for them, and why they'd land on a site of mine and some are just fucking weird. Here's some of the odder ones:

fake ad for hatchets - why a "fake ad" for hatchets? Real ads aren't good enough?

hookers casting - I guess someone needs some hookers in their movie and doesn't feel up to asking random women they know?

silicone male ass - I have no idea what the hell is this all about, nor do I want to.

demon wife  - Maybe something to do with a movie, or just curious what the benefits might be?

latex hooker - Are they looking for a hooker made of latex or one that specifically wears latex?

who the actor for thork - besides the poor grammar here, I've no idea what this is about. I used the term and it just came up with "Thor" stuff.

troll feet -  I was right in assuming at least one other person out there would be interested in Troll Feet. I'll be putting them online for sale this year. I hope he comes back.

most powerful hallucinogen - ???

zombie hookers demon pei - Just looking for all the best stuff at once I guess.

horned girls - Makes sense, but something tells me it was a spelling error.

auricular prosthesis product catalog - I think I might've either brightened or ruined some poor fellow's day who was actually needing something important.

zombie killers online monkey -Either there's something else out there this fucked up sounding, or someone who's only heard partial words of things I've done, and was just hedging their bet and trying them all.

really odd family pics - I like this one.

shoot boxing online shop - I don't get this at all.

casting fake guy - At first all I could think was, "So casting a real guy isn't good enough?" But then I guess it's something looking to make a fake body? I don't know otherwise, maybe looking to cast a shitty actor?

movies with x ratings - Hell yeah! I ruined some horny bastards day I hope.

the caller malcolm mcdowell ending explanation - This might seem utterly random, but I did mention this movie once and if someone seriously wanted an explanation for the ending, they really didn't get the movie. I highly recommend it for it's total lack of logic in the end.

bert palmerro prosthetics - This just seems funny, I guess somehow someone saw this video and didn't realize it was connected to an online shop. Nice to know they liked the piece enough, never got an order for it though. Asshole.

a movie called zumbie bimbos - Makes sense they found my stuff, but did they really believe there was a movie was called "Zumbie Bimbos"???

vampire photoshoot lighting - Because vampires are SO hard to light with all that pale skin...???

pretty male fingers - Uh...yeah.

fox henderson hookers - I think my favourite one this year.

el. rodeo. de. gregorrio. Chabes - Sure. I don't think they were actually searching for "Gregorio Chavez", but it's pretty odd there's even the term "rodeo" in there. I did a search and nothing immediately popped out that would explain it.

awesome paint job go kart - How the hell did this term land someone on something I did?

ass silicone mold - Again with the silicone asses. What the hell people? The worse part is, this chap wanted a mold - for what? To make an unlimited supply of silicone asses?

fast food character giving the finger - I don't really get it. Did someone want to see this that badly?

ear suck - This actually creeps me out as much as the silicone asses people.

And now for the most elaborate and yet still random seeming search term of all:

big screen-tula's father used one particular cleaning solution for everything as a cure all, even soaking his elbow - I searched it and nothing immediately came up, why am I not surprised. And relieved. 

So there you go. Some of the more entertaining search terms/phrases of this year. I am surprised at the sheer number of people wanting fake faxes and severed fingers/thumbs.toes there are out there. Next year can only get weirder once I start introducing some new items to the shop.


  1. Anonymous6:14 PM

    That was pretty damn interesting.
    I may have to look up really odd family pics now. Silicone asses and pretty boy fingers I can do without.esides I do have my Nice Monkey Rodeo Silicone fingers & assorted other bits....
    Kim B

  2. Anonymous9:44 PM

    i am pretty sure the last one is a reference to "my big fat greek wedding," and the substance is windex. doesn't make it any less random. probably moreso.

  3. I figured it had to be a reference to something, odd it was strangely worded.